True Reflections of a Traveller’s Companion
“Hodophile: one who loves to travel”
Guest blog written by husband and travelling companion Greg.
I married a hodophile - one who loves to travel
Wanderlust. From German, in which wandern means "to hike or roam about," and lust which means "pleasure or delight." Thus, a lust for wandering. Or even simpler: Tracy. Yes, my partner loves adventure and exploration, going off the beaten path, never backtracking, and experiencing things differently and deeply. She’s a traveller - preferably with a passport - and is happiest when a new adventure is on the horizon.
My travel bug is a little different from Tracy’s. Through my hobbies I probably have a stronger connection to home and my yearly calendar has a few more ‘blackout days’ than hers. There’s still a never-ending list of places we want to visit together but there is also an understanding and expectation that each will have some solo journeys along the way. It’s all good. Tracy might be on an international flight while I’m standing in a river with my fly rod, but we’re both looking forward to the next 8 week trip to England and France. And I only need to say “it’s great fishing in Slovenia” (or New Zealand or Patagonia or Belize...) and she’s down the trip planning rabbit hole!!
Belem, Portugal
It is no surprise, then, that of the two of us Tracy is the travel planner. And Tracy is amazingly good at it, so I largely defer to her judgement when it comes to the bulk of the trip details. Yes, we collaboratively identify the trip, develop the itinerary, and pick the accommodations, but Tracy does the detailed planning: mapping out routes, searching transportation and accommodation, reading reviews, booking attractions, and so on. This is much better than my “figure out when we get there” approach, and there are many things we could not have done without her advance planning and booking.
The traveller’s companion
My greatest contribution is being a sounding board and, in the heat of the travelling moment, remembering flight numbers, seat assignments, metro stops, and the like. I’m also fairly ‘directionally confident’ when the blue dot on Google Maps seems to be misleading, and have been known, on occasion, to point out something that might make for a good photo or to find a new cemetery to visit. But most of all, I am a confident, trusting traveller's companion, happy to explore places on each other’s priority lists, to pause for photos, to carry a daypack, and to be nudged out of my comfort zone.
I am grateful (most of the time) that Tracy prefers circles to straight lines, tries to maximize adventures, and ends most travel suggestions with a genuine “wouldn’t it be fun?” I’ve seen more, experienced more, and done more because of that adventurous spirit that seeks to push limits. There is a reciprocal understanding, sometimes offered reluctantly, that straight lines can be good (especially when lost or on the verge of missing a train), or that a cable car might be preferred to a 5km walk in the dark at the end of a long, tiring 28,000 step day. We complement each other, and things typically are a lot of fun.
Lisbon, Portugal
What are my travel limits?
Relative to others, we’ve travelled a bit and the list of countries visited together has now reached twenty - with many more to go. Most of these trips have been of shorter duration, however, generally around three weeks long in which we moved frequently, rarely staying in one spot longer than three or four days. Our trip to Spain and Portugal, though, was 10 weeks long with two extended stays of four weeks each in Seville and Lisbon. No matter how you say it, two and half months, ten weeks, 70+ days is a long time for me to be away from home.
My excitement to travel was tempered by a couple of key questions:
How ‘slow’ could I go without getting bored or antsy?
Could I stay in one location for a month?
Could I be away for 10 weeks?
How many familiar things would I be missing at home while I was away discovering new things in Europe?
In a previous blog Tracy noted my passion for fly fishing, hockey, motorcycles and music. As a recent retiree, I’ve looked forward to more time on the water, on the ice, on the motorbike and behind the drum kit. So it was a bit of a surprise to some people when my first major act of retirement was to put down the fly rods and drum sticks, park the motorbikes and leave the hockey gear in the bag while Tracy and I went on our extended adventure.
But I also have a passion for travel. As a former humanities educator, there resides in me a passion to explore and witness the world's history, geography, architecture, arts and culture that I shared with students in a classroom. Thus my travel motives lean towards growth and novelty more than escape or connection, and it’s cool to walk the marbled steps of Greek temples, have coffee in the same cafe as Hemingway, marvel at Cologne’s gothic cathedral, navigate throngs of people in Tokyo’s metro, tour Belfast’s troubled history, or observe Berlin through a WWII lens. I’ve also enjoyed our ‘escapes’ to Hawaii, Mexico and Arizona, and know there are times when you simply need to escape winter and find some sun and sand.
But never had I been gone for 10 consecutive weeks. Would I enjoy being away from home for that long?
It was awesome. The people, sights, and experiences were amazing, and there were countless times where we stopped and said “I can’t believe we’re standing where (this or that) happened.” And I didn’t long to be at home.
The evolution of our travels together
On reflection, I learned that I prefer slow travel to fast-paced travel. Staying longer in one place avoids the constant packing and relocating, and affords the opportunity to relax, settle in and experience things deeper. And ‘slow’ pace doesn’t mean ‘no’ pace. For me, it means a second cup of coffee on the piazza, strolling rather than rushing, lingering after the crowds have gone, returning to places to see them in the evening, or a day of regretless reading and recharging. Racing from attraction to attraction is not my thing nor is suffering from ‘traveller’s exhaustion’ so slow travel fits my style.
Most importantly, I also learned I can be away for a lengthy period of time and any concerns about leaving other passions behind was unfounded. In fact, at home, unseasonably warm temperatures shut down much of the October fishery, I only missed 9 sessions on the ice, and the heavy rain and snow of November and December put an early end to the motorbike season. And when I started writing this it was -8 celsius, overcast and with a light snow falling. Sevilla was a balmy 22 celsius! And now that I’m back to a cold, wet, gray winter, I could have easily stayed away longer!!
But I had to work at it.
Unlike home where I can be unconsciously busy through play and puttering around the shop, I needed to be more active in the daily planning and open to embrace whatever our location had to offer. In building our travel itinerary, then, we tried to include something special or memorable each day, spreading out major attractions and combining them with smaller or unique activities. We were mindful of things equally interesting and those which were individually important, seeking a balance between them.
Sevilla FC game, Spain
And we celebrated that we were in Spain or Portugal or France by engaging in things unique to where we were. For example, a Spanish highlight was joining 45,000 Sevilla FC fans to watch a Spanish La Liga futbol match. It was a blast (the crowd’s singing brought Tracy to tears) and had it not been for the World Cup break, we would have continued to follow our ‘adopted Spanish team’ for some more games. Spanish tapas, Portuguese desserts, French wine…we simply stayed fully engaged and in the moment.
Our plans also found ways to incorporate my other passions of music and sports, and if I were to repeat this type of trip I’d try scooter and ebike rentals to introduce a bit of novelty to our daily transportation. I’d even consider getting a cheap guitar to keep up my meagre guitar chops! The point is I was not simply a passenger on Tracy’s trip but rather an active participant in a collective adventure. By thoughtfully shaping our days and being in the moment, then, the 10 weeks flew by. Clearly I didn’t miss much while I was gone, and the odd fish, game or rehearsal that I missed can’t come close to the gifts I received while travelling.
That being said, it is possible to overstay and I think three weeks in one spot was sufficient. I knew it was time to move on once I stopped learning or being excited by events, when things appeared repetitive, or when the novelty had worn off. As the trip progressed, we became far more selective as to which sites we visited, which day trips we took to neighbouring towns, which routes we took back to our accommodations - all in an attempt to maintain some novelty. It meant that we sought different sites or different types of travel adventure. We also learned from our experience in Sevilla and broke up the Lisbon trip with a spur of the moment, 6-day trip to Bordeaux, France. In the moment, it helped reignite my travel passion for learning and novelty and reminded me of the importance of seizing the moment and trying something a little different.
Travel to transition into retirement
An extended trip was an amazing way to ease into retirement. After years of highly visible public service it was great to be out of town and out of the public’s eye. No phone, no texts, and just my personal email meant that I relaxed more, worried less and slept better. It also physically removed me from routines and expectations - largely self-created - and challenged my assumptions about what retirement might look like.
Crows Nest Pass, Alberta
It could have been easy to slip into a pattern of fish-bike-drum-skate and I’m glad I tried something different before I did something familiar. There is room for all of it and the retirement conundrum is how to make it all fit together.
I must also say that going slow was a wonderful antidote to a worklife of going fast. Whether at work or at home I’ve always felt the need to have some project on the go and over time I’ve become a bit hardwired that way. Tracy and the kids saw it. Me, not so much. It required a complete removal from my usual environment for me to see the positive change and upon returning home, I’m already trying to enshrine that slower pace and to “live here like I lived there.” Time and distance does wonders to open new perspectives.
Finally, Tracy is an amazing travelling companion and I look forward to our many upcoming adventures. It helps that we like each other’s company. True story - the longest we were apart during our 10 week vacation was the 90 minute flight from Bordeaux to Lisbon where we did not sit together. We could have paid more to select seats but we agreed the Euro’s we saved would go to a nice dinner in Lisbon! Any longer, though, and I’d have probably paid the additional money!
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