How to feel strong: Choose your own unconventional adventure!
“It is not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.” Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
This is one of a 4-part series of articles that share little travel stories sparked by common travel emotions. Also read about feeling interested, challenged, and mindful.
Strong Roots
I have no memory of my grandmother. She is described as a formidable woman, who expressed emotions not through words or hugs, but through hard work and baking. Growing up, my grandmother and her six siblings were often written about in the Chilliwack newspaper’s society column. Newspaper clippings describe my grandmother delivering a monologue at the Anglican Young People’s Association Whist drive and serving “a dainty tea” at the Parish hall.
Alert Bay, BC
In her twenties, she grabbed a different hold on her future and ventured solo to search outside the typical narrative about life as a woman. She left her home in Chilliwack - unmarried and single in the late 1930s - and found work in a diner on the very tiny and very isolated island of Alert Bay. Why and how she ended up there is unclear. In my mind, the pressure of family and social expectations on a young woman who “should have already found a husband” probably felt suffocating.
Alert Bay used to have a Canadian Navy presence, so sailors would frequent the diner. One day a handsome sailor in uniform (much younger than her) with perfect blond hair and blue eyes wanted to buy a cribbage board from the diner gift store but didn’t have enough money. After what I can only assume was a charming and flirtatious exchange, my grandmother suggested they meet in Victoria on her next weekend off work and she would deliver the board if he had the money. The city of Victoria was a gruelling full-day journey in those days on boats and rough roads.
A marriage followed, and we still have the crib board.
Their daughter, my Mom, grew up moving from coast to coast with my grandfather's naval career. After college and before starting a new job, my mother and two friends hitched a pop-up box tent to a VW Bug and drove from Halifax to Boston to New York City, down to Mexico, and then up the coast to Victoria. Not a typical adventure for good church-going girls in the 60s. Adventures were had - it was a time of independence, freedom, and adventure.
After meeting and marrying my naval-officer Dad, her life continued to be filled with moving to new cities every few years. She knows how to captivate a room and tell a great story, how to schmooze with international diplomats (and spies 😉), and how to menu plan for two months living on a boat.
Not a sailor herself and not a swimmer at all, she spent countless days on boating adventures including a voyage from the Bahamas to New Brunswick; lived on a narrow boat in the UK; and cruised in a trawler up and down the coast of BC. She travelled to Moscow during the cold war; toured salt mines in Austria with a friend; and travelled solo to Singapore to meet my father who was living and working in Cambodia in the aftermath of the Khmer Rouge and the Cambodian–Vietnamese War.
My Mom & I
In their own way, and in the context of the eras they grew up in, my grandmother and my mom, broke out of convention. I have too, in some aspects of my life.
I feel strong when I am bold without being brash, adventurous without being risky, and firmly grounded without being tethered to the spot. I personally feel strong and empowered when I choose an unconventional route - whether that is a career decision, lifestyle, or travel itinerary.
Feel strong -er with every adventure.
The first time I travelled without “adult supervision” made me feel like I could take on the world. In full honesty, it also petrified me!! Like my Mom, I took some time between school and my next career step to hoist a too-full backpack, turn my meagre savings into travellers' cheques, and climb aboard a flight to Greece.
I distinctly remember walking across the tarmac and climbing the metal steps to the airplane door mentally going through everything I brought and forgot. I forgot sunglasses (who doesn’t wear sunglasses on a trip to GREECE?!). I brought books (can you say heavy?). I assumed that a checklist was the thing that I needed to feel prepared. It wasn’t. What I needed, and thankfully had, was an enormous dose of optimism.
Note that I didn’t say confidence.
The dictionary defines confidence as feeling sure of yourself and your abilities. Optimism, on the other hand, is an inclination to anticipate the best possible outcome. Optimism and the firm belief that I was following my heart made me feel strong. I didn’t feel confident in many aspects of the trip but I did know that I’d figure stuff out along the way, that everything would work out somehow and I would thrive.
Find your own sweet spot to feel strong.
I don’t believe in comparing adventures or ranking people’s experiences on any degree of daring. If I was, I would never have pressed publish on my blog! I follow and admire countless women who lead extraordinary lives and have crafted unique journeys. I learn from and appreciate them all. I’m inspired by other people's extraordinary choices!
Take Carol. Carol Fisher is a digital nomad living and travelling full-time in her minivan. Her podcast episodes outline how she made these decisions and why. The podcast “The Carol-Van: A (Van) Life Podcast.” is so well done. She shares her thoughts and reflections through deeply personal narratives. I laughed and cried and by following her on Instagram, I continue to be filled with wonder seeing North America through her lens.
She’s in Newfoundland at the moment!
Or take my friend Amber. One year she went on holiday at an all-inclusive resort. The exercise session leader was sick so Amber, being Amber, offered to lead the class - she wanted a workout! Her natural infectious energy and bubbly personality had the resort begging her to return and take over as instructor. It’s been over a decade and every year she takes off for weeks to multiple resorts as a (now certified) Zumba instructor.
Unconventional and very cool!
My unconventional choices may not be as dramatic as living in a van or working at international resorts. It is simply perspective and how you define “extraordinary” for yourself. What makes you feel strong?
Self-empowerment
Choose travel to feel strong. Let your adventures lead to personal growth and self-discovery. If you think a trip might be just the thing to fire up your interests and passions but want some help figuring out how that might look or how to make it happen - connect with me, I’d love to help.
While I’m a sucker for life stories that are travel-infused or travel-influenced, and while I firmly believe that travel helps you feel strong and empowered, you can also foster the feeling without needing a passport!
Practice gratitude. Feeling strong comes hand in hand with a positive attitude.
Set clear and achievable goals. Break down large and lofty goals into small, manageable tasks to help maintain focus and momentum. Celebrate the tiny but important milestones along the way to sustain motivation.
Lean into your strengths. Cultivate self-confidence by acknowledging what you are passionate about, what you are good at, and all your past successes.
Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who uplift and believe in you.
Design your next unconventional adventure - even a micro-adventure - to feel strong!
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